These Terms govern your use of deadpanmerch.com and your relationship with Dead Pan Merch, a brand of JWaz Media LLC, a Pennsylvania limited liability company (“Dead Pan Merch,” “we,” “us,” or “our”). Read them before you buy something.

We know nobody reads these. We wrote it so you actually could.

By using the site, you’re agreeing to these Terms and our Privacy Policy. If you don’t agree, don’t use the site.

Who Can Buy

You need to be at least 18, or old enough to enter a contract where you live. That’s a legal requirement, not a judgment about your taste in shirts.

Accounts

You can browse without an account, but some things need one.

If you make an account:

• Keep your password to yourself. Anything that happens under your login is your responsibility.
• Give us real information and keep it current. We can’t ship to an address you moved out of two years ago.

What We Sell

We try hard to keep product descriptions and specs accurate, but we can’t guarantee every detail on every page is perfect. If something’s wrong and it affected your order, tell us and we’ll fix it.

Product photos are mockups. The design is real, the shirt is real, but the exact shade on your screen and the exact placement on the garment will vary a little. That’s normal for printed apparel — see our Return Policy for where we draw that line.

Orders and Payment

When you place an order, you’re confirming your payment information is accurate and the payment method is actually yours to use.

We can refuse or cancel any order. We don’t do this often, but we will for: suspected fraud, a pricing or product error on our end, an item we can’t fulfill, or a bulk order that looks like resale. If we cancel, you get a full refund.

Shipping

Your order is printed after you place it, so give it production time on top of shipping time. Estimates on the site are estimates, not promises.

Once it leaves the facility it’s in the carrier’s hands. We’ll help you chase down a lost package, but we can’t control a truck stuck in a snowstorm in Ohio, and delays there aren’t something we can be held liable for.

Returns

Covered in our Return and Refund Policy, which is part of these Terms.

Our Designs Are Ours

Every design, graphic, logo, product photo, and line of copy on this site belongs to Dead Pan Merch. The jokes took work. Don’t print them on your own shirts, don’t sell them, don’t run them through a generator and call the result original.

Screenshot a product and post it because it made you laugh? Go ahead, that’s free marketing. Set up a competing store with our catalog? Not that.

Your Privacy

Covered in our Privacy Policy. Short version: we never sell your information.

No Guarantees Beyond What’s Written Here

We stand behind our products, and if something arrives damaged or defective we’ll make it right — that’s covered in our Return and Refund Policy.

Beyond that, the site and everything on it are provided “as is” and “as available.” To the fullest extent permitted by law, we disclaim all other warranties, express or implied, including any implied warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, and non-infringement.

In plain English: we don’t promise the site will never go down, never have a typo, or never have a broken link. We promise the shirt shows up and it’s the shirt you ordered.

Some states don’t allow certain warranty disclaimers, so parts of this may not apply to you.

Limitation of Liability

To the fullest extent permitted by law, JWaz Media LLC and its owners, employees, and suppliers are not liable for any indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of your use of this site or any product bought through it. That includes lost profits, lost data, and business interruption, whether the claim is framed as contract, negligence, or anything else, and applies even if we were told such damages were possible.

Our total liability for any claim related to your order will not exceed the amount you actually paid for that order.

Straight version: if a shirt disappoints you, you’re entitled to your money back for the shirt. You’re not entitled to the value of the date it supposedly ruined.

Some states don’t allow limits on certain damages, so this may not fully apply to you. Nothing here limits liability that can’t legally be limited.

Governing Law and Disputes

These Terms are governed by the laws of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, without regard to its conflict-of-law rules.

Any dispute arising from these Terms or your use of the site will be brought exclusively in the state or federal courts located in Pennsylvania, and you agree those courts have personal jurisdiction over you.

If you’re in a jurisdiction whose consumer-protection laws give you rights you can’t waive by agreement, those rights stand regardless of this section.

Before anyone files anything: email contact@deadpanmerch.com. Most problems are a shipping issue or a sizing issue and take one email to fix.

Changes

We may update these Terms. Updates take effect when posted here with a new date.

Questions

Email contact@deadpanmerch.com. A human reads it and a human answers.

Updated 09/19/26