About Us

Dead Pan Merch is a family-owned business in Bird-in-Hand, Pennsylvania — deep in Lancaster County Amish country, where the horses have the right of way and we are, by a wide margin, the least wholesome thing in the ZIP code.

We make merch for people whose inside voice occasionally gets out.

The idea is simple. Most merch is either aggressively inspirational or so safe it says nothing at all. We’d rather make the thing you’d actually say — dry, a little too honest, funny to the people worth being funny around. Everything is printed to order, so nothing exists until someone decides they want it.

Small operation. Real people. If you email us, one of us reads it.

Bird-in-Hand, PA 17505
contact@deadpanmerch.com
+1 717-553-2439